Sam, Kristina and Lilli Reagan

When daddy's stay

2009-05-19T19:38:00.000-07:00

Since having Lilli mine and Sam's life has changed. It has been a roller coaster of emotions, struggles and times of absolute beauty. While I struggled to gain my footing of being a mother, Sam sailed smoothly into his roll as a dad. I could not understand how It was so hard for me, I had been around kids all my life, worked with them, took care of infants in a daycare setting, been told I had a knack for caring for babies, but this baby for lack of a better word was kicking my butt. I was emotionally a wreak, worrying about everything and stressing myself to pieces. Then there was Sam, who had NEVER really been around a baby, and he seemed to have the ''knack for caring for her.'' There were moments like this, that proved she would someday soon be a daddy's girl

I am so glad that Lilli has a great father, and it reminds me of what God has given me.

I know that some dads do not stay. Mine didn't. He missed birthdays, holidays, graduations, and my wedding, and now he has missed the birth of my baby. God gave me Jeff, and I have loved him as my dad, but my heart has always wondered how he could just leave me and never try to contact me. Now that I am a parent I really do not understand how a person can do that.

Sam is an amazing man, he loves me and I know that he would never leave me, or Lilli. How I got such a man is amazing and such a gift from the Lord. I watch him and my heart swells with love and joy. Sam lost his dad 2 years ago to cancer, we went to the grave and Sam said I sure miss him. We talked about all the memories he has with his dad. I know that Lilli will have great memories of her daddy too, while my memories are blurred and scattered. Do not get me wrong I do not hate my father... I forgave him, but I do not have a desire to meet him for I feel complete with the family I may have, mixed up, thrown together wonderful family that I have.

Here is the letter that I wrote Sam for fathers day..shhh do not tell him yet....

Dear Sam

Happy Father's day to the man of my dreams. I do not think you know what father's day means to me now that we have sweet Lilli. My memories of father's mean that they do not stay. they leave when things get tough, they must forget their sweet children, who cry out for them at night. Who whisper why did he leave, was it because of me, was I not good enough, pretty enough, what did I do. A father is someone that gives you life, but does not love you enough to be involved in your life, never reads you stories, sing to you or just hold you.

I did have a dad, and he loved me, but my heart yearned for the one one who was suppose to stay. I was loved fully by Jeff, but how could my little heart understand the reasons that he left and never came back. I know that I never have to feel that way about you and Lilli.

I love it when you sing to her, when you talk to her and she gets that big smile on her face. I love that she looks so much like you, because I love everything about you, even when you snore, because its just a reminder that I have you.

I just want to tell you how great you are. You endured 8 emotional moths of pregnancy, how you made it is such a wonder to me. I cannot recall how many hours you tried to hold me and tell me God was in control as tears fell from my eyes.. I thought I would be less emotional after Lilli came, but no, I am such a worry wart, but you where my constant and I thank you for that.

I love you honey, through whatever may come, through every trial hardship and new babies. Till death do we part.

I know you will never leave, what a gift Lilli has, in a world where more marriages break up then stay together, its a true gift to find a daddy who will stay, who follows after God, and is so patient and kind. I wish every little girl had a daddy like you. I hope we never take you for granted. I praise God every day for our happy home that He has given us.

I love you,

Kristina and Lilli

Our precious baby

2009-05-19T19:30:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the break in blogging. Having sweet Lilli has taken all of our time. I have taken care of kids for most of my life, but having my own shocked me to death, that first month I walked around in a fog of emotion. She is doing great and we love her to death. Stay tuned for a post about her daddy.

March 11, 2009

2009-03-26T16:57:00.000-07:00

Our precious baby girl arrived into this world on March 11, 2009 at 6.44 am. My water broke at 3.30 am and Sam (who was soundly sleeping, woke up a little confused). I t was the weirdest thing feeling my water break. I felt like I was peeing a river. We got to the hospital, I was scheduled for a c - section on the 13th, so they decieded to do it that morning. I was a little nervous, but it all went well and Sam did awesome. Tammie and Sam's mom made it in record time. I was so glad that she made. Tammie has a calming presence about her that I needed.

The spinal did not even hurt as bad as what others tried to tell me. When they lifted Lilli up to see, the world seemed to stop as I looked at my sweet girl. She was so beautiful. She had such beautiful dark hair and the sweetest face.

I am healing well and it was such a blessing to have Sam home that first week. Lilli is doing good, she does not like to sleep at night, and is not much of an eater(please pray that I won't worry about her and just give it to the Lord). We have been blessed by our families, who have taken great care of us. Lilli is already a blessed little girl. Sam is a great daddy. When I see him with Lilli, it makes me fall so much more in love with him. He is so sweet with her and I can see how much he loves her, He changed her first diapers and sang for her. And that first day home when I was crying)hormones) He took her and let me have time to get myself together. Well Here are some pics of the newest Reagan.

2009-01-28T09:10:00.000-08:00

Sam and I this summer, in the airport waiting to go west.

Sam and I on our wedding day

Sam and I when we were dating.

I use to wonder how people “”just new”’ that this person was the ONE.
I use to worry and cry (did I mention I have always be very emotional) That I would never find my one true Love.

I remember in high school having crushes on people, but I knew I never loved them. I remember in college watching friends date and fall in love, but that never happened to me, even though I was looking. At college a guy was allowed to walk a girl to her dorm, and that happened to me once, and yet I knew that it meant nothing really to me.

While at college a girl asked me if I had anyone special in my life, of course I said something funny, so that she did not know how my heart truly hurt because it seemed like I never would. She said you will Kristina and you will just know because he will be exactly what, you need and it will be so sweet. I thought about this everyday.

As college ended and I found myself alone, I realized (with the ‘’gentle urging’’ of my parents) That it was time to move out and start a career. It was a hard year for me. I felt alone and afraid that this was how it was going to be for the rest of my life.

And then it happened (I have to give credit to my parents who helped us out) I got in a car wreak and got a stick shift and my dad got this guy from church to help me learn to drive it) I was nervous and scared out of my mind about this whole process.

It went well, although Sam now says he was scared that I was going to kill him. It flew from there. I remember him calling me after that one night. He said he was in Taco bell and was so nervous, while I was at home pretending I had not just been crying and pleading with God to just let himl ike me. It was literally minutes after that, that my phone rang.

We were inseparable after that. We went on walks together, Just talking, and getting to know each other. It was in the midst of those first few times together that I just new. I loved him from the Start. I remember the first time he told me he loved me, how I felt my heart exploded and I felt truly special.

Sometimes now girls ask me how I knew Sam was the one, and because I did not like others telling me that I just knew, this is what I say. When you find the one person who loves Ggod the most, and when you tell them things you have done that have caused you pain and he just looks at you with love in his eyes and says I am sorry that happened to you. I wish I could change that for you. Then you’ll know.

Do not get me wrong, Sam and I don’t have the perfect relationship, we fight, and have moments where we are needing sometime alone. But there is no one I would rather be married to.
So with our second anniversary coming up, and a baby on the way, I just wanted to write something about my sweet, hardworking, patient, loving Husband. He will be a great daddy. I know this because I witness it every time the kids come over. I love you honey. Your the best, even though you won;t get me cable. lol

I will always be your ''Nina''

2009-01-10T13:58:00.000-08:00

This little girl captured my heart completely a little over 5 years ago. Now that I am getting ready to have my own little girl, I can only imagine how I will feel about her.

Over Christmas Vacation, the kids stayed with me, and while I was finishing Lilli's room Rheagan helped me, asking questions, and helping me organize. One day I was talking about Lilli, and her being cousins and Rheagan asked me If I would still love her when Lilli came. I said of course I will love you. No matter who comes along you will always be my Rheagan, and I will always be your Nina. I am so thankful that I have these kids in my life and I get to watch them grow they will be great cousins to Lilli.

Fret Not

2008-12-07T15:52:00.000-08:00

I wasen't able to go to church tonight, so I listened to a old sermon written by my father-in-law (DAVID REAGAN.) who passed away in 2007. It really touched my heart and it was exactly what I needed. I encourage you to go to www.learnthebible.com and liten to FRET NOT

I worry alot so this message was so perfect for me. It taked about the four keys to to inner peace
1. Trust
2. Delight In the Lord
3. Commit
4. Rest
Do we trust God, this means that I live a life that says that I want to be pleasing to the Lord.
Do we enjoy being with the Lord. Our we excited about coming to the house of the Lord. This is a struggle to me, because I feel so busy during the week, that I just want a break. The devil tries to get me so caught up in other things, that I just want to stay home. We need to walk in ready for the Word of God, Do we love the Bible. Sometimes we don't read the Bible because we do not have the desire to read it. We are commanded to read the Bible, it is a matter of obedience not just of desire. Some of our desires need to be surrendered to the Lord, and be replaced with the desires we ought to have.
Committing my way unto the Lord. That means give God full control over my life. We do not no the path of any day that our life is going to take. But with God in control, does it really matter? We try to keep it under control, but it is not ours. Realizing that this is the day that the Lord hath made we will rejoice and be glad in it. Just commit it to God. Knowing that God loves us and will take care of us. God has our best interests at heart. We do not need to be insecure, we need to realize what God can do in our lives.
Rest int the Lord and wait patiently for Him. Do not fret, God is in control. Do not worry about it, just do what we are suppose to do for the Lord. Just turn it over and rest in the arms of our Saviour. We need to stop doing it for God and so it through God. Without Him we are going to be empty and frustrated because we cannot do it any other way. What we commit to God will be kept, and will never be lost.

SOMEWHERE

2008-11-30T14:12:00.000-08:00

This is my Thanksgiving post. I know I am late, but it took sometime to write this, it was emotional this year.

I have so much to be thankful for this year, that I do not know where I should start. Somewhere off of Western Ave. There are 3 precious children that I love so much. They see me as their aunt even though I am not related by blood. In this house is a little girl who captured my heart the moment she was born, she makes me laugh and I think she thinks I am pretty special too. There is a boy, that is All boy, and I really wanted Lilli to be a boy so he could have a friend, but I know he will love her too. He drives me CRAZY sometimes, but his sweet I love yous make me forget. There is a tiny little girl, who is a absolute beauty, and I love to hear her yell my name when she sees me. Her sweet kisses brighten my day. My sister, what can I say, she is a rock to me. I see the strength that she has, all that she has been through and she is still strong and a great mom. I love my brother-in-law too. He is one of the funniest people I know(maybe I don't get out enough) Haha.

Somewhere in Iraq, my brother is defending my freedom and yours; and all those who detest the war too. I think of all the things that we did growing up, and I think wow, he has grown up (and I am not as young as I like to think I am) He has always been honest with me and I love him more that just as a brother, but as one of my closest friend. His wife is pretty awesome too, she is a sweet, strong girl that everyone should want to know.

Somewhere out west. two people, who completely changed my life. Loved me, encouraged me, lifted me up, and helped mold me. I love them more than I will ever be able to express.

Somewhere in Washing ton State, Lives a pastor, that loved me, encouraged me, and married me. If he could only know what he has meant in my life.

Somewhere in Florida( I know she is at the Beach) is a girl, who has been my friend for over ten years. She is the kind of friend, that you never have to catch up with, She has been such a great friend, time and distance could never change that. And she is Single so let me know if your interested. I remember growing up and making plans that we would live together, and a part of me wishes we could of done that.

Some where in Montana lives my mom,one I did not deserve, she raised 3 children and I am forever thankful that she is my mom, the lessons she has taught me, will stay with me forever.

Somewhere ( working on the roof at church because it was leaking) is the man that I married, and without him, I would not be complete. He is exactly what I needed. He would do anything for me, but also knows how to handle me( And those that know me know I need this. lol) I love him and am so excited to see what a great daddy he will be.

And to God, who has blessed me with theses. and my sweet baby girl, I am so thankful.

Giving up Lilli

2008-11-22T20:07:00.000-08:00

Everything is going great with Lilli. I just wanted to share with you somethings that are on my heart.
The moment I knew that we were going to be parents I started worrying about all that could go wrong, and if we would be good parents. I worried that we would mess up. My heart has not st oped worrying. Do not get me wrong we wanted a baby, we were planning for a baby we were anticipating getting pregnant, but the moment I saw that positive test my mind went to the what ifs. I loved this baby the moment we knew of her. Every little change my body had I worried that something was wrong. When she finally started moving I would stress out that I had not felt her in a while. There were times I cried about it. (poor Sam, I think he thought I was going crazy). Then I started thinking I can not handle this and it wont stop after she is here, it is just the beginning. I told Sam this was it, no more. HAHAHa.
Since getting pregnant I have also reevaluated my life. I have realized that I am no where near the person, christian that I want to be. I want the best for Lilli, and that means she needs a mother that is totally sold out to God. I have made so many mistakes in life, let my heart wander to places it had no reason to be. By the grace of God I am alive saved.
So, in my desire to draw closer to God, I started reading my bible, I mean really reading it. And such a calmness settled over me. You see Lilli is not ours, as much as we love her, we could never come anywhere close to God's love for her. It was really hard to come to this point. I wanted a family of my own, to show the world. Yet, God is teaching me other things. That giving me Lilli is a job, one that I may love and want, but one that will test every area of my life, and if I let God have control one that has beautiful rewards.
So pray for me that I can let God have Lilli, and not worry all the time, and that I can be who God wants me to be.

Lilli's daddy

2008-11-10T16:28:00.000-08:00

HIS LITTLE GIRL

I have been thinking a lot lately about dads and their daughters. I think of how are baby girl will have such a great daddy, and while I am so excited for that, it also brings back the loss that I use to feel.
My Real Father, I never really new, I cannot remember what he looked like of the sound of his voice or what his hugs felt like. And while God did give me a a wonderful dad named Jeff It just was not what others seemed to have.
I watched Sam put his head on my belly and call out Lilli’s name and I thought did my dad ever do that? We talk about the dreams we have for her, what she will be like who she will look like. I know that the moment we hold her it will be the most beautiful thing.
I know that my baby will never wonder if her daddy loves her, she will never wonder why he did not call on her birthday, or wonder what he is doing on her birthday.
My mom was a great mother, but every little girl needs a daddy all through life. The difference. I am so glad I will never have to worry about weather sam will ever leave me, we have a commitment that goes beyond the vows, we have Christ. I have realized the importance of true family.
So Having a girl is a little bitter sweet for me. Because until I was five I did not know what it was like to have a daddy. So now I get to watch a little girl snuggled in the arms of her daddy. And I know that he will always love her, never leave her and forget her. Over the years I have thoiught about this man who did not want me, and I remember that God has always wanted me.
SO when our baby is born I will close my eyes and thank God for who he is, and what he has done, and that one little girl was bleessed again with a daddy

God knows us better thatn we know ourselves, he gave me the father I needed to lead me to him, and what a love athis man must haveto love other men's children like they were his children. I love you Jeff

Liilian June Reagan

2008-11-05T12:41:00.000-08:00

Sam and I found out yesterday that we are going to have a beautiful baby girl. It was so awesome to see her on the ultrasound. I think it was especialy neat for Sam. He is really excited and that really feels great to me. Stay tuned for some updated pics.

The great northwest....well maybe

2008-08-19T18:53:00.000-07:00

I was so excited this summer to go on vacation to visit Spokane Washington and my family. Sam had hardly met any of my family. We spent several days in Spokane with my Best Friend Mary - Catherine It was great. But I missed my home soooooo much. Maybe I was a southern girl in another life. HAHA. We also traveled to see family in Montana. At the bottom is a picture of my adorable nephew Bryce he is soooo cute.

Mary on the goat, you would have to be from Spokane to understand this pic.
Bryce, saying how big he is....

News, news, news

2008-07-16T12:25:00.000-07:00

Well, I guess I will start off with the biggest news, We are going to have a baby!!!!! We are very excited, and a little nervous. I took 3 tests just to make sure and they all came back positive. We went to the doctor Monday and they said I was 4 weeks and 2 days. I am due March 22ND. I thought Sam was gonna pass out at the doctors office when they did the blood work. The drew 6 tubes of blood and he was starting to look a little queasy. I on the other hand did wonderful, so it is a good thing that I am having the baby and not Sam. I guess he'll need to sit down during the delivery, hahaha. I am feeling pretty good, except for the cramping and being tired, Sam says that I am just using this baby to get more sleep. I think he thinks he is funny. Well just for fun here is a cute picture to enjoy

My house and things

2008-07-11T08:35:00.000-07:00

This is the new bathroom color, I know It is hard to see, But it is Chocolate brown. When I told my niece Rheagan the color she said mmmmmmmm, chocolate is good. Sam said its my favorite. Those two must be related. Landon wants to know what it tastes like.

. I have to confess, that Sam did some of the work too. He ended up doing all the sanding and helping me with the painting. What a good guy.
This is my Rheago. We are the best of friends, although lately she hasn't wanted to play wit me as she has in the past. This happened with Landon too, when he was like three, I never thought it would happen to my princess . Yet, she is growing up and Nina is not as cool as she use to be. I love her and she will always be extra special to me. It makes me sad, but now I have gotten a new bond with Addi.
Addi, loves her Nina and follows me around everywhere, even when I want a moment alone, there she is. Now you make ask why she is naked, well we are trying to potty train, and this is the only way she will do it.
Watching the rain. I love these kids and will miss them when they go back to Ms. B

''Kristina The tool women Reagan''

2008-07-07T19:06:00.000-07:00

Kristina the tool women Reagan

Those that know me, know that I am not a manul labor kind of a gal. If its broken, it either stays broken, or someone else needs to fixes it. Well, since we have moved, I have arrived in the world of if I do not do it, it may NEVER get done. While my Husband is so talented in almost everything he does, he is busy, and somehow has the belief that I am useless when it comes to remodling anything"). I don't know why he thinks that. :)

Well, I am here to prove him wrong>( I Love doing that .) Not only did I use his drill to hang a couple shelves, I also used a level, and a screw driver and a wrench. But my greatest accomplishment would have to be today. Today, are you ready for this!!!!!! I took off all the wallpaper in my bathroom, and I put that mud stuff on it, and tomorrow I am sanding it. YEA me... So if anyone needs anything done call me NOT Sam. HAHAHA

This is a picture of our bathroom before the mudd

Hazzard. "Woman at work"

A new HOUSE

2008-07-03T07:38:00.000-07:00

The Lord allowed Sam and I to buy a house. We are so excited. It is a beautiful split foyer house with three bedrooms and a large family room. When we decided to go for it God gave us complete peace and the whole thing went very smoothly. The church and my brother-in-law Kevin helped us move. I am almost done unpacking and putting everything away. It is amazing that we had all this stuff shoved in that little apartment. We have received several gifts from people and we are so thankful for them. A couple in our church gave us a couch and love seat to go in our family room and it looks wonderful. We need a xtra bed for our spare room, but that will come with time. I will take pictures soon have a great 4Th of July.

Congradulations to Bradley Chapman

2008-06-15T17:09:00.000-07:00

congrats to Kelly and Brice Chapman on the birth of their little boy. Bradley Nathaniel Chapman. He is so cute and they are such great parents and I am so happy for them.

The lazy, hazy, CRAZY days of summer

2008-06-09T09:41:00.000-07:00

O, I lob you, nina
Addi, tring to ask me for my chair
Rheago enjoying the sprinkler

The beach

Yea for me I made it through another school year. A part of me will really miss those kids, but another part of me is so excited about summer. Sam and I went to the beach, it was a blast, I do not get in the ocean though, too many creatures that I can not see coming to close to me and I do not like that one bit. So I sit in my chair and read a book soaking up the sun, at the same time keeping a ever watchful eye on my husband so that he doesn't drown.

Well, Sam burnt to a crisp. I got a good tan. We camped at the state park, and it was not bad at all. When Sam first mentioned camping I was like okay wilderness its either you or me, but I actual enjoyed it. When we got back I started watching Landon, Rheagan, and Addi for the summer, and it has been going so well. Addi is such a ham and says no to me for everything.

We went to the lake one day and the kids loved it. Addi is just like me, she did not like those fish swimming anywhere near her, so we made a sandcastle. Landon is doing great in Baseball. Rheago has drawn me a million great pictures. And Addi is my little helper following m e around the house saying ''me do it''

Well, that's all for now, as always remember Ryan as he is in Iraq.

A year of love, loss and hope.

2008-05-03T07:58:00.000-07:00

It will be a year on the 8th of May that Sam's dad passed away. It seems sometimes a life time ago. This time last year, Pastor was in so much pain and I think a part of him just wanted to go home to be with His Heavenly Father. I can remember the day that he died so clearly in my mind, remembering sitting in that hospice room, seeing this man who was so kind, happy and friendly to everyone he met, lay still on the bed struggling for every breath. I was there at the end. I watched him draw his last breath, but in that moment as the tears came they were not just because he was gone. They also came because he was free. No more pain, no more suffering. Yes, we miss him. But we cannot wish him back to this word. Nor would he want to come. :).

Sometimes I think of him, and wonder why. As Sam and I think about starting a family, I wish he could be here. He would of been a great grandpa. There came a time this year when I stopped being so sad over his death. I could go to his grave and not feel a heavy weight of loss. I felt instead a clear feeling of happiness that we would met again, somehow I thing that he will see us from heaven and that he will get to see his grandchildren.

I still see him and hear him sometimes. If you come to our church, and when the choir sings, if you close your eyes I can hear him in Sam's voice. Most people say Sam takes after his mom. But Sam has his Dad's smile and like his dad it is there no matter what is going on. This next year as I watch my family move forward. And as I grow closer to Sam and to God, I pray that we can remember this man, who touched so many lives. Remember his life and how he Loved God with all his heart.

My brother, my soldier, my hero.

2008-04-07T14:59:00.000-07:00

Ryan, was able to come in for a couple of days before he heads to Iraq. We had a great time, yet this time it was so hard to watch him leave. I have such sweet memories of him and I when we were younger. When my parents divorced, and my dad remarried it was hard for me. I had a hard time facing that my dad had remarried and atfirst I felt alone. Then there was Ryan. We had been friends long before my dad and his mom got married. I think the Lord planned that. Ryan was my best friend when we were younger. And then now in our blended family was now my brother and my best friend. We did alot together. Talked all the time, hardly fought.

Now as adults we have grown up, married and built a life separate from each other. But those memories and circumstances molded me into the person I have become. He may not be my ''real brother'' but I am proud to call him my brother, he will be a uncle to my children and deep in my heart he will always be my best friend. I love you Ryan. I am praying for you.

Memories

2008-03-22T08:04:00.000-07:00

I have recently been going through photos. And I thought I would post some that I thought were especially cute. Things have been going real well here. We are having Easter dinner with my parents and I am excited. We haven't been able to get together in awhile so it will be nice to see everyone. Hope all is well.

Happy first anniversary to me. O and Sam tooo!!!!!

2008-02-20T13:44:00.000-08:00

Sam and I celebrated our first Anniversary on the 17th. It seemed to fly by. Sam and I both feel like we have been married forever and that it is hard to remember a time when we were not together. We are doing well and are excited for this next years adventure.

The lazy days of winter

2008-01-25T19:19:00.000-08:00

This picture is in thought of Ryan, as he is serving his country. This is the Ryan we love. HAHAH

Sorry I have been out of the blogging world lately. Nothing much has happened. I did get a snow day, but it was actually an ice day. O well I will take what I can get. Talk to you all later

Saying Goodbye To Ryan

2008-01-05T08:32:00.000-08:00

Thursday I said goodbye to Ryan, my brother who is being deployed to Iraq. It was hard we all cried and then cried some more. I was at my sisters house with all the family. As tough as it was for me I can't imagine what his wife Jillian is feeling. Or what our parents are feeling. Just thinking about him makes my eyes water with tears. The holidays wont be quite the same without Ryan. This next family gathering we wont race upstairs for the TV remote. Who will make fun of me, no one can do it like he does, and yes, sometimes I hate the teasing, but somehow I know a part of me will miss it. When I walk through my parents door he wont be there to holler my name and give me a hug. No more C - clamp or wrestle mania. Its these little things that I will miss the most. I want him to just be home safe and sound. Yet I know that God has a purpose and plan for Ryan. Just as he does for all of us. I am hoping this year that I will grow closer to God and closer to my family as we pray for the safe return of Ryan. We love you!!!!!

Family Holiday fun and ORAL Surgery

2007-12-31T11:17:00.000-08:00

We had a great Christmas. Saturday before Christmas we ate with Sam's mom's family at Cracker barrel. Sunday Sam and I opened presents from each other, and then Monday we spent it with Sam's dad's family, and then Tuesday, we spent it with my family whew. We had a great time at each, but the only one we got pictures at was my parents so enjoy I especially enjoyed Addi's face with the bows.

And the the day after Christmas I had oral surgery. We originally thought it would just be one tooth and then a wisdom tooth, but we were wrong it was two wisdom teeth and then another tooth and I suffered. Now you may think I am a baby, but the experience was not good for me. My mouth was huge, it was sore and the pain medicine made me very sick. I was getting better, Friday, so I thought, then came Saturday and I got very sick to my stomach. I threw up. I am doing much better today.

Merry Christmas

2007-12-24T22:32:00.000-08:00

This year as my husband and I celebrate Christmas, it is a little bittersweet for the both of us. Sam is missing his dad, and I am preparing for my brother to leave for Iraq. Today will be the last holiday I will get to spend with him. As I think about what Ryan means to me, my mind travels back to when we were just kids. Ryan and I were good friends before our parents were married. As we grew older we were still friends. I love him and imagining him over there scares me to death. Yet there is peace, because I know that nothing can happen to him without God controlling it. I remember times when he was the only person I could talk to. He has been such a great brother to me, and even as we have grown up, married and gotten involved in our own lives, I will never forget those times in my youth that we spent together. I hope you all have a merry Christmas

We are parents!!!!!!!!!!

2007-12-11T19:05:00.000-08:00

This is my beautiful Niece Rheagan who is my best friend

Sorry for such the delay in posting, it has been a busy couple of weeks. Well Sam and I would like to announce the arrival of Abbie Reagan. We adopted her from our parents and we couldn't be happier. She is so spoiled and Sam does most of the spoiling of her.

We have our tree up and it is so exciting to be almost done with my Christmas shopping. I am so happy to be married to Sam and to be celebrating our first Christmas as a married couple.

I am so blessed. I have a wonderful family and friends and I am in love with the best man in the world. Sam Reagan

Missing: one husband

2007-12-01T17:45:00.000-08:00

My dear husband is gone.... He went to a men's retread with his uncle and I miss him so much. I know I am a big baby!!!!!!!! He gets home tonight around ten and I am so excited to see him. He said he has a surprise for me to yeah. I cannot wait till he get home

2007-11-20T18:20:00.000-08:00

Sam and I took Landon and Rheagan ice skating. It was alot of fun. They really enjoyed it and it made them really tired!!!! I am a pretty good ice skater, but its different when you are trying to hold someone else up. I am so glad they got out these walkers. Rheagan and Landon did not want to leave, and every time since I have seen landon he has asked to go again, so look for more ice skating adventures

The iceskating adventure

2007-11-20T18:11:00.000-08:00

the most wonderful husband

2007-11-14T13:33:00.000-08:00

As many of you know, Sam and I live in a one bedroom house -sorta. It is so small it doesn't even have a closet. So Sam is building a secure building out back to be my closet. I am so excited and thankful for such a wonderful man. Also, Sam loves my nephew and nieces as much as I do and I Know he will be a great daddy someday!!!! Here is some pictures of the soon to be closet and then some sweet shots of Sam and the kids

The OlsenSmiddyReaganHudson family

2007-11-07T13:03:00.000-08:00

Well for the first time ever my family got together and had a family picture made. For those of you who know the history of my family, you may get the heading and laugh. The names have changed over the years, but I think we have grown closer than ever. I can not express in words how much this family means to me. I have a great set of parents, who have loved me unconditionally, even though I have driven them crazy I am sure. These two people have changed my life. I have a great older sister, who now is more than that, she is my friend. I have the best nephew and the two most beautiful nieces in the world. I have a wonderful younger brother, who at times has been the only one I could talk to. There came a time for me when Tammie stopped calling Tammie my step-mom, and she became just mom. And also Ryan and Stacey were no longer my step - siblings and just my brother and sister. Sometimes I miss those times we were all together. My parents may not feel this way. But sometimes i long for the days when we were younger, Stacey was home for college and we were all together. Now we are all married.!!!! Can you believe it, where did the time go. As we grow older and create our own families, the memories take on new meaning. I see the things that my parents did for me, trained me for some of the things I would go through as an adult. Sam and I struggle a little with letting go of our families tradition and creating new ones. We both have such great families its a little hard to let go. Yet I am so thankful that the Lord gave me this family, I have been blessed beyound measure.

Can I please get some sleep.

2007-10-30T14:15:00.000-07:00

Today is not a good day. My lovely husband is sick. All night long he was coughing, and I am possibly the world's lightest sleeper. I kept saying Sam get some water, take some medicine, but would you know it, I think he was a sleep, even through the horrible coughing. Finally at 2:30, he got up to take some more medicine and let me sleep, because I have to be at work at 6. Well guess what!!!!! I cannot sleep without him either. I was so mad at myself. So finally I got up, woke him up, He was sleeping on the couch and told him to come back to bed. When it was all said and done I closed my eyes at 3:43. I am so tired.

And the mean aunt award goes to....

2007-10-24T15:01:00.000-07:00

I promise I am not a mean aunt. In fact I love my nephew and nieces like they were mine.

Here is the story. Addi had an accident at my house, and as usual I forgot to pick up some diapers. I had extra panties (they were Rheagan's and they fit Addi.) So I put them on Addi and every ten minutes I said ''Addi do you need to go potty''. The answer was always no. So I put her on the potty (she is just 1.5 years old. She doesn't get the concept yet I think.) She did not like the potty. She was so angry at me, that I had to get the camera. And then she fell in. It was funny, well to me it was. Don't worry she paid me back. She stood on my chair and peed herself. O well, that's what I get for laughing at her.

2007-10-20T13:19:00.000-07:00

The corn maze and things

2007-10-20T13:02:00.000-07:00

On Saturday the 13th, My friends and Sam and I had a triple date to the corn maze. I was with my crazy friend Amanda, and also Kelly. While our patient husbands stood in the line(it was sooo long) us girls decided to get our faces painted. ( Actually Amanda forced us to do it!!!!!!!) It was fun, and we looked great. It was nice doing things with other couples and the corn maze was a blast. Brice, Kelly Husband, is such a good map reader. I have never gotten out of a corn maze that quickly. Sam had this flashlight that pretty much lit up the whole maze, so that helped to =).

That Sunday, my whole family went to eat at Famous Dave's for my birthday. It was great fun. I love to be with my family. Now that all of us kids are married, we have a hard time getting together as much as we use to. Today we had family pictures done. I will post them when they are done. We had a great time and I think they turned out well.

Birthday trip to a cabin

2007-10-14T12:33:00.000-07:00

For my birthday, my lovely husband took me to a cabin in Gatlinburg. I loved it soo much. It was a great time and I loved the hot tub. We woke up a little sore from the hard mattress. O well. I am 25 today, and as my husband said this morning as I woke up. Only 25 more years till I am 50.

Bryce James Brisbin

2007-10-08T16:06:00.000-07:00

My oldest brother, just had his baby, and he is so cute. Enjoy this precious baby pic.

Addi Payge: the precious.

2007-10-05T18:28:00.000-07:00

I have two wonderful nieces But I find my self spending a lot of time with my older niece, Rheagan. Today Addi my one in a half year old niece, was over at my house, and I was playing with her and I just thought she is SO funny. I feel a little sad that I do not spend alot of time with her. She is so cute and precious, and I love her.

Here is a funny story, and pictures to go with. Last week, all my family got together for my dad's birthday. During dinner we gave Addi corn on the cob. She loved it so much, that even when she was sleeping she was hiding it from us so we would not take it from her. enjoy

you can see her corn, what a ham.

PLEASE PRAY

2007-10-03T12:49:00.000-07:00

We are considering buying a house. We live in a little one bedroom now, and it is so tiny with all of our belongings. So we decided to just look, and we found the cutest house. It is three bedrooms. AND it has TWO bathrooms!!!!!!!!!! We want the Lord's will in this. We definitely do not want to make a wrong decision. So please pray for us

Rheagan

2007-09-23T13:57:00.000-07:00

Well we survived Rheagan spending the night, It was alot of fun. She went to sleep, or so I thought watching a movie. At 1:30 morning I woke up with a start to her staring at me. I said Rheagan, and she said I have to go potty. So I took her, and then we went back to bed. And then Rheagan woke up at 7:45. O, well we had lots of fun. Then we went to my dad's birthday party. Well I will I will write later.

The Princess

2007-09-21T18:41:00.000-07:00

Sooo, today my niece Rheagan is spending the night, and we always take them out to eat when they spend the night. Well we also went to walmart, and as we are leaving Rheagan and I are talking about, Jesus and what He is like, and what the devil is like, and then Rheago asks this question. '' Is your dreams in your mind, and your mind in your dreams.''? I was like what in the world, My wonderful husband Says, well when your sleeping your eyes are closed so all that you see is in your mind, but your mind is not in in your dreams. I for one am still confused. After that mind boggling question, Rheagan says, when I grow up I am going to be Princess Bell. hahaha.

just a funny

2007-09-15T16:34:00.000-07:00

Body: At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)We always hear "the rules"From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
1. Men are NOT mind readers.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

3. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

4. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

5. Crying is blackmail.

6. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

7. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
8. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

9. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.

10. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

11. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

12. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

13. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

14. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

15. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

16. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

17. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

18. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

19. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but It is just not worth the hassle.

20. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

21. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

22. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as basketball, the UFC fights,.....or well you know.

23. You have enough clothes.

24. You have too many shoes.

25. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

26. Thank you for reading this.Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Yea, Its friday

2007-09-14T12:27:00.001-07:00

I am better, I do not feel so grumpy.
Today as usual I picked up Landon, and I heard these words, the words I hear every day. Nina can Did you bring me a snack, and as usual I had. So as I gave him his snack, I realized that Landon knows that I am going to have a snack for him everyday. Just like God always has blessings in store for us, wheither we are thankful for them or not. I pray that I can start being thankful for the things that God has given me. Ill write more later. landon wants another snack. I think that kid has a hollow leg

What a weird day

2007-09-13T17:09:00.000-07:00

all I have wanted to do today is cry. If someone looked at me wrong, I could feel my eyes welling up. I donot know why. I did not feel this way until about 2:30. At dinner to night I wanted to ball my eyes out, and there was no reason. Oh well. I 'll be fine . Tom. Is FRIDAY

A day to remember

2007-09-11T13:02:00.000-07:00

I was just reading a e-mail my brother sent me about 9-11. I was remembering where I was on the fateful day. I was in my dorm taking a nap, when someone rushed in and said something about some plains crashing. We rushed to the auditorium and watched the news. The moments after that were a blur, All I remember was just wanting to be with my family, I saw the tears, anguish and pain of those who loved and lost. But I lost no one, so it was easy for me to move on. Then a couple of years ago my brother joined the army. It was while the war was going on to. Didn't he get it, he could be sent away, he could die over there. We have always been pretty close, the youngest two children, and while we have grown apart in later years, there is still a closeness. My brother loves America, He respects and supports the president. He would, I believe gladly fight for the freedom we have. I do not believe that I have met anyone more passionate for America and for fighting for Freedom than my brother.
Yet it scares me a little that he could go fight in the war. We had a scare early this summer. When I talked to him about it, all I could think was no, don't take him anyone else Lord. I know that he would of gone and fought hard, not worring about if he would of lived or died, he would of counted a honor to fight for America. He loves this land, this people.
I could not have such courage. Then their are the people, that shame America, and there soldiers. Those who hate are president, those who do not support the war. My brother would say if you don;t like it hear leave, and I say amen. we want people to stand up and fight for freedom. i want my brother to feel supported, not hated. God bless America

God is amazing

2007-09-09T11:06:00.000-07:00

Wow, today in church we heard an amazing story, and I just wanted to tell it to you all.

Daniel, a young, quiet man in our church went out on boomsday and was passing out tracts, and telling people what they had to do to get to heaven ,and that if they did not get saved they were going to hell. that Monday a police officer came to his door and told him he was being summoned to court. Someone had gotten upset that Daniel had been giving the gospel, and wanted to sue him. The police officer was a christian and told Daniel, he could not have a lawyer there, but that he could take his Bible and that God would be with him. So, Thursday, Daniel went to court and for 2 hours they asked him all kinds of questions. Basically Daniel had to defend himself and what he believed. Finally towards the end of this session, the judge asked Daniel if he had anything to say, and He said yes, I would like to tell you what I believe, and then Daniel preached the gospel. As he was preaching the judge came down and got on his knees, and the other people in the room did the same and got Saved. How amazing is our God. It makes me see that God can use anyone for when He shows up, great things can happen

The great day off.....

2007-09-08T09:37:00.000-07:00

I just love Saturdays. I love to sleep in. I can stay up as late as you want me to, if i can sleep in the next day. I am a nite owl. But for some reason. I choose a job. That starts before the chickens get up. This morning I was awake at 930. Sam says see thats why we should,t have children yet, they will take away our sleeping habits. okay to this I say ha. Sam will not loose any sleep. Sam can sleep through anything. I hear and feel everything. I do not know what he is worrying about. the alarm clock dosent even wake him up, and it is next to his head. So It ill beme getting up

Blogging

2007-09-07T20:02:00.000-07:00

I just love to blog. Sam says I am addicted, but it feels good to be able to write down stuff about my day, and things that I am thinking about, wven if no one reads it. But people read this right?? We went to the fair and had a blast, although it was hot and we spent a small fortune. We watched the tractor race, Sam and Landon enjoyed, Rheagan ate. She ate fries and cotton candy. Good luck mom and Dad.(see thats whats nice about having Nephews and nieces, feel um up on sugar send them home, they love you, but there not with you all the time) We rode rides. Landon almost fainted I think!!!! HAHA. But we did not lose them so I say the night was a success. Tommorrow is 2 months since Sam's dad died. I try to get out their every month. Sam says he dosent need to go, but for some reason I have too. I miss him, we got a long well, he liked to read, and loved history, these are things I relly enjoyed too. So when I was with him, I always flt comfortable. Sometimes I wonder why, I know that God has his purpose and plan, but my nature is to want to Know now. I have never liked suprises. I am saddened that my children will never meet him on earth. I want my children to have a godly heritage. My parents are around, and I know they'll love them, but I just had one set of granparents, I am sure two would be better. Sam's sister madeSam a scrapbook of Him and his dad. I saw it first, and new that I needed to be there when sam saw it.
It breaks my heart to see Sam hurt, I want to say its okay, it will be alright, but you cannot because you don't understand. So this time I did'nt talk I just held his hand. Why is it so much sadder when men cry. Maybe because women(or at least this one, cry more easily.) He said that was alot of memories. And then it hit me. Memories. Sam has none or little bad family memories, and that is what I want for my family. God has given me peace, and a great role model to follow.
Now do not get me wrong. My ''family ''is great. But for those of you who know about our situation may understand. Its a long story. I use ti find myself wishing for the perfect family. there is not one to be found. But I believe God has blessed me with the knowledge of how to have one through my experiances. I have been blessed with a women who, not my mother has taught me many things, that I would need for the position I have today. I struggled with these areas, and things teachings, but its easier now. And I see the benefit now, although I am still working on these areas. I see where I could of been, if it wasent for my ''parents''.
So as I think about my family to be. I see that I want a combination of my family, and Sam's. I want the laughter, teaching, and love.
Now that I am married, and realize its not so easy, there are days I long to go back to the card table days..... Family joke. Back to them fixing dinner, playing games, and when my best friend was Ryan. Such simple days. But then I could never imagine life with out Sam. : can I have both Lord" Love ya. Sorry so long

The fair is here!!!!!!!!!!!1

2007-09-07T11:08:00.000-07:00

I am going to the fair and I am so excited. My nephew and niece are going too. We are going to watch a tractor poll. I am not sure what this is exactly. I am from the west, and I have never heard of this until I moved here. The fair I love, I use to love all the scary rides, but now not so much. In fact they down right scare me. What happened to me, am I becoming OLD.... I still go on them, to show everyone that I am not really that scared. Yet my insides are to flops the whole time, and sometimes I whisper a prayer of safety. Lucky for me, Landon does not like big rides, and Rheagan can ride with sam, on the big ones. Well,, that is if she is tall enough....

Long days

2007-09-06T18:23:00.000-07:00

Okay so today might be possibly the longerst day of my life. First I worked my usual shirt. 6-2 and Then i had to work from 4 to 9. Plus I picked up my nephew from school, and bless my husbands heart, he watched him for me. ( I am secretly having Sam interact with kids, so taht he will want one sooner, and Landon is alot of fun...) I can not wait for the weekend!!!!!!!!!!! Let me clarify a few things. Sam and I are trying to have a baby next september. I want to know, but Sam wants to save money. I already have names picked out. HAHA

Poor me

2007-09-05T12:54:00.000-07:00

Well, I woke up sick today, They were going to let me go home, but I had so much todo, so I staid. I really enjoy my job, I think tha it is going to be A GREAT year. I have been having to work alot of overtime, I try not to complain to much, because Sam works alot more overtime and I know taht his work is far more demanding physicaly then mine. Although mine has to be emotionaly, and more mentaly straining than his right.... HAHA Plus I am trying to see the big picture the more overtime the sooner we can build a house, which I desperatly need and want. I have been trying to talk sam into trying to have a baby now instead of the September date we orginaly decited on, He asks why I want to change my mind, I don;t know the real reason, maybe because all my friends are trying to have babies, my oldest brother is, so Why not me. Oh well, the date has not been changed, because Sam wants to save more money, Secretly, I think its because he dosent want me to stop working....hehehe. Well I better go.

AHHHHH

2007-09-03T18:52:00.000-07:00

Well, tommorrow I go to work at 6 am. I think that the time is the most horrible time in the world to be at work. As I think about that moment when I leave the warm shelter of my bed and add a sniffle as I see my dear husband snoring away, I usualy start to cry. HAHA. I always kiss sam goodbye, and he never remembers it, but it is this kiss, and this quiet moment that I thank the lord for his great gift that He has given me in my husband. I have never , since I have been married worried about money, or anything really because of the way he takes care of me. Its in this quiet moment, that I feel bad because sometimes I get angry at him and sometimes he does things I dont like, but o what would I do without him and his wonderful way he loves me. Now if he could just remember to pick up his clothes, o well theres always tom.

Days of work

2007-09-01T16:22:00.000-07:00

Well I am officialy back on the job, and whew is it alot of work. I am enjoying it though, except for the fact taht it is 100 degrees ou there. I am at a new place and i am excited about that. My whole family is goinging to atlanta This Weekend. Yea.

my normal life

2007-08-13T19:09:00.000-07:00

I went to graceland with my mother and grandmother this last week. It was interesting and so sad at the same time. What a horrible, and sad life Elvis lived. As a yound child his parents took him to church, but Christ was not emphasized in His life. I am glad to be back and to get back to my normal life with my husband. No More Air Mattress. Last night my grandma said she walked to the bathroom and we were lying on the floor. All the air had gone out. Lets just say we were tired.

Its almost over

2007-08-13T19:07:00.000-07:00

Only two more weeks of freedom. I went to the mall to go shopping and Loved it. please pray for me. I keep getting the same infection over and over. Pray that the Lord will help me not worry so much.

Getting ready for work

2007-07-27T15:34:00.000-07:00

I have been off this whole summer and now I am preparing to retirn. ugh. My husband is very glad, he thinks I have to much time on my hand. While, this is probably true, I have enjoyed this time of freedom and rest. I have done many things taht have given me great joy. And I will miss it so much.